Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.
This quote by Eckhart Tolle neatly sums up my feelings as of late.
I’ve taken notice of people all around, and myself too often at times, going through the motions of everyday life. We are rushing through certain hours of the day and hurrying to juggle our responsibilities. We are immensely focused on the future and what is to come and how to get there. This is not our fault - we’ve been conditioned within our society to be this way.
From a young age we're taught that success means reaching milestones, touting accomplishments and obtaining material things. So going through the motions is seen as a necessity in life, or ultimately, a means to an end. It’s not for the sake of enjoying our lives, but to have more stuff or check the next box.
I can’t help but think about the unnecessary anxiety this causes. Anxiety, generally, can be equated to worry and fear of what ifs. Our ego can be quick to control our mind sending us into a downward spiral of made up stories about what will happen and how it will happen. But none of this is actually true. The only truth is what actually IS. What happens on a jam-packed day where you think you have everything planned out perfectly then something goes awry? You get stressed, right? And yet, if you hadn’t invested your energy into making up a story for how the day was to play out, the day would carry on as it was meant to and you would be there to witness it.
This is exactly why I feel it is so important to accept the present moment. By accepting where we are physically, emotionally, and mentally in each moment we bring awareness to the forefront and live as our authentic self. It is these times where we are not trying, forcing or hustling where our authentic, true self can show up and be known. Our authenticity deserves to be acknowledged, after all that’s what makes each human being unique.
I am fully aware this is easier said than done with all the distractions in our lives. And while it may seem contrary, it actually takes a lot of effort to be present and in the moment. It’s of course easier to get caught up in the monotony of going through the motions. Some people live their life as if they’re on a cruise. You go on a cruise knowing you have certain meals to select per day, a schedule of site visits, and prearranged activities to choose from. Everything is planned out and you know exactly what to expect. There is comfort in knowing what lies ahead. As relaxing as that may seem, life isn’t a cruise—it’s an adventure. You can plan all you want, but you can’t really control what happens. We’re not invincible; we all face challenges. It’s how we rise to these challenges in the present moment that defines the path forward.
Life is an evolution based on your experiences and perceptions as well as your own personal growth. This reminds me of when I resigned from Goldman at almost 30 years old. I didn’t have my next position lined up perfectly but I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to do. I had been working many jobs to support myself since I was 15 years old, and I mainly wanted to take a break from the 24/7 hustle to play an active role in my own life. It was one time to take a break from constantly focusing on the future, and an opportunity to accept each day as it came. I was being called to approach my life very differently from how I had the prior 15 years.
The timing of my resignation wasn’t coincidental. The day I resigned was exactly five months before my wedding date. This time with myself was to be coveted, and more importantly, I knew at a deep level I deserved it.
But my inner hustler had other ideas. I let myself get talked into staying so I could help interview and train my replacement...which lasted three months. I somehow convinced myself that giving that time was the right thing to do. I told myself that having that three months of extra income was beneficial to my future. Yet, in my heart I knew I should have taken the time to just be. That was one of many times I didn’t follow my heart. I don’t live with regrets, but I am wise enough to know now that those are moments you never get back.
Constantly striving and hustling for something we hope to obtain in the future goes against what it means to really live. I completely believe hard work pays off and my successes exemplify this belief. It’s important to have goals, yet I also believe there is a difference between working hard and hustling. Hustling is when you’re forcing things to happen rather than being in flow with your life. Being in flow is where you thrive AND enjoy the ride.
What I’ve learned about being in flow is that it comes down to two things: self-awareness and acceptance. You must be self-aware enough to recognize that wherever you are in your life is a step in your journey. Everything has a purpose in your life, no matter if you perceive it as good or bad, positive or negative. Accept where you are in each moment because nothing lasts forever. The only thing that is constant is change.
In my eyes this type of self-awareness is about separating yourself from your thoughts to spend more time in your heart. Instead of constantly striving, hustling, and pushing for the next thing…be present. This is where the magic happens, and I promise this will bring more joy into your life.
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